My goals and my definition of health and happiness

An article came out a few days ago on a blog and it’s getting huge attention.  A facebook friend posted about it yesterday.  It’s getting attention because the woman, Joni Edelman, says that, “Being thin didn’t make me happy, but being fat does.”  Here is the article for you to read:  http://www.ravishly.com/2015/02/10/being-thin-didnt-make-me-happy-being-fat-does

I read the article and watched the news clip and totally get what she is saying.  She states that her “physical hotness” days were filled with hours a day spent on workouts, documenting every single calorie she consumed, starving herself to stay on the 1000 calorie diet she was on.  She had exercise bulimia.  She’d eat a cookie, but then would run 2 miles to burn it off.  She deprived herself sleep and was functioning on 3 hours of sleep per day.  She was hit on at grocery stores and by doctors at the hospital she worked at.  From the outside she was the perfect picture of health and beauty.  What she wasn’t, was happy.  5 years after she was at the lowest she had been since the age of 15, which was a size 4, she gained what looks to be a hundred pounds at my best guess.  She states she is happy now.  She states there is now a stillness, a joy, and a peacefulness now since there has been an adjustment on her bipolar medication and she is another 10 pounds heavier. 

I totally agree with her.  Living like that must have been hell.  Who would want to live like that?  And, for what purpose?  For the clothing?  For the cat calls or the stares?  For the false definition of beauty that the American public has been brainwashed by Hollywood and the media to think that thinness = beauty and happiness? 

Joni, I’m happy that you are happy.  I’m happy that you found your inner peace.  I hope you have found the healthy balance between being happy and being healthy.  Maybe you are at that healthy balance where your body doesn’t suffer from headaches, muscle pain, joint pain, shortness of breath, heartburn, brain fog, constipation, or diarrhea.  In my opinion healthy isn’t defined by a size 4 pant, nor is it defined as a size 24.  Healthy is the weight that doesn’t put your internal organs under distress.  Healthy doesn’t cause the aches and pains I listed above, nor does it cause obsessions to workout for hours on end and count every calorie.  Healthy is your body at it’s comfortable weight.  We each have our own comfortable weight.  I believe it varies from person to person.   My 5’ 6” comfortable weight could be 40 pounds heavier than my friend’s 5’6” comfortable weight.  I think people need to find the happy and healthy balance for what works for their body.  I think looking at your personal health risks to obesity related diseases such as high blood pressure, high LDL (bad) cholesterol, and high blood sugar are important for individuals to pay attention to.  I also think looking at how much abdominal fat you carry is important, not because of some ridiculous beauty standard, but because it effects the functioning of your vital internal organs.  I think these are the factors people should really look at when trying to figure out what your healthy comfortable weight should be.  It should never be determined by fitting into a certain size at any given store. 

I am on my own personal journey to end years of yo-yo dieting.  When I was younger, in my twenties, my motivation to lose weight was to fit into that “beauty” mold.  I was certainly brainwashed to think that being thin = beauty and that being thin = happiness.  But, it never worked for me.  I could never maintain my “thinness” and I fluctuated greatly for years.  But, my motivation to lose weight after having my first child 13 years ago shifted.  At the age of 28 my motivation changed for the sake of my child.  I wanted to be healthy for the sake of him.  I wanted to have energy to run and play.  I wanted to be disease free from diabetes and all of the other scary life-threatening diseases that are directly associated with being obese.  I wanted to live a long healthy life for the sake of my children.  I now have three kids.  My motivation is still this.  I want to lose the weight so that I am here to see my great grandchildren some day.  I want to live the adventurous life my grandparents live to this day.  I want to be surrounded by my children, their spouses, their children, and their children when I blow out my candles on my 100^th birthday.  That is my why.  That is my motivation to lose this excess body fat.  I want to feel better.  I don’t want to suffer from debilitating back pain, hip pain, muscle pain.  I don’t want to suffer from heartburn, or frequent headaches, or chronic fatigue.  I don’t want to suffer from drastic mood swings where I’m sweet to one person and a cranky witch to my children.  I, too, want to be happy.  These are the things that will make me happy. 

The way I’m feeling now, I feel happy, excited and beautiful and I weigh 218 pounds.  I, too, am happy and fat.  But, I am not healthy.  My weight issues come from sugar addiction / carb addiction.  I finally discovered what the root of my problems was all these years.  Now, that I have figured it out, the weight is coming off.  My body feels so much better and I’m only 10 pounds lighter.  But, I know I’m not at my healthy self.  I have a long way to go.  But, I’m on the right path.  I will continue to do what I’m doing because my body wants to feel good.  My body and mind like to workout.  I get a huge boost of energy when I workout at 5 a.m. in the morning.  I do it because it makes me feel good.  I will continue to eat clean foods that are free of sugar and gluten because eating like this makes my body feel good.  I can’t tell what my weight loss goals are by a number on a scale.  My weight loss goal is to find that healthy balance.  I’ll know I have found it when my body feels good and I have no fatigue.  I’ll know it when I feel it.  It might be 30 lbs from now, it might be 70 lbs from now.  I don’t know, but I do know that my body will tell me when it’s found it’s happy place. 

As for beauty, I think I’m beautiful.  But, we live in a society that says that if a person says that, they are conceited and full of themselves.  So, call it what it is.  I do think I’m beautiful.  I thought I was beautiful when I was 125 lbs in high school and I thought I was beautiful at 240 lbs.  I’ve never let my weight dictate what I do, where I go, or what I wear.  I wear what is comfortable.  I don’t wear much make-up because I think I look just fine without it on.  Many woman I know don’t wear it at all because they too look beautiful without any on.  Many woman I know wear make-up because they feel more beautiful with it on.  I think they are all beautiful just the way they present themselves to the world because they are all good, kind, lovely ladies.  Sadly, too many women are caught up with the false definition of beauty that is advertised in the movies and the media.  They stop themselves from doing things like going to the beach with friends or with their kids because they feel fat.  They stop themselves from experiencing life because they are ashamed of themselves.  Ladies, you are beautiful.  Discover your healthy balance.  Stop fighting with the fictional beauty judge and enjoy your life, but strive for health.  If your body hurts, try to discover what is causing you pain.  Food is medicine.  You can heal your body through whole, real food.  And, you are beautiful no matter what number is on the back of your pants or what number is on the scale.