A deep sadness came over me a few weeks ago. I had made up my mind that I alone was
a sugar / carb addict and I needed to learn to eat clean, wholesome, real food
that God made for humans to eat in their natural form with the least amount of
processing. My plan wasn’t to
change how my husband or children ate.
I will always be around harmful and addicting foods and I need to just
learn to resist them. I thought
why should my children and husband have to “suffer” just because I couldn’t eat
those foods myself?
Then, I found a wrapper. I was cleaning the guest bathroom and I found the empty
package of dark chocolate covered pretzels stuffed in the back of a draw under
the hand towels. I knew who the
culprit was immediately. I had
seen other signs in the past of sneaking food. I watched my daughter gain 40 pounds in 4 months in
2014. There was a height increase
as well, but that didn’t explain the rapid weight gain. I was too caught up in my own weight
issues that I ignored what I had been seeing with my girl. But, I had found the wrappers in the
past. They would be hidden under
her bed, in closets, under sink cabinets.
Joe would find wrappers and empty soda cans stuffed in various locations
in the garage. But, again, I
ignored the real meaning of those secret squirrel piles. At the time I’d get angry and think
what the heck is wrong with my kid.
Little did I want to face the truth. Little did I want to admit to Joe and myself that those
wrappers symbolized my own hidden eating issues. Now, those wrappers weren’t mine; they were in fact, my
daughters, but they might as well have been mine. I’m clever enough to sneak those secretive wrappers into the
trashcan and put something else on top to hide the evidence.
But, then I saw that pretzel wrapper 3 weeks ago. It broke my heart. I shut the bathroom door and
cried. I cried for my dear sweet
beautiful, talented, creative, genius of a daughter. Here she is, me in a younger version. I don’t know how long
I stayed in that bathroom weeping for my girl. I prayed to God to give me guidance and the words to express
to her how I was going to help her and how when you are sneaking or hoarding
food, that that is an illness. I
needed to express to her in the most loving and gentle way that food can be
like a drug. She just finished the
D.A.R.E program at school a few weeks prior, and we’ve had many frank
conversations about addictions, drugs, alcohol and tobacco. She understands what those addictions
are and the addicting qualities of those substances. I needed to tell her about sugar / carb addiction. And, like I’ve stated before, addiction
runs in families. You are
genetically predispositioned to being an addict to something if there are
others in your family which suffer from addiction. Since I knew I was a sugar / carb addict, I know her chances
of being addicted are huge. And,
seeing these behaviors are a clear sign that she is mimicking my own
embarrassing, horrible and disturbing behaviors. Maybe I wasn’t as secretive as I thought L.
I pulled myself together and came out of the bathroom. I asked Molly to come to the guest
room. I shut the door behind her
and held up the wrapper. Her eyes
weld up. She cried and didn’t say
a word. She probably thought I was
going to punish her or yell at her.
But, instead I hugged her and cried with her. I told her that I know she sneaks food a lot. I told her about all the wrappers we
found hidden in various places around the house. I told her that I, too, have done that. I admitted that I had a serious problem
with sneaking sweets and it was like a drug. M&M’s and Tootsie Rolls are my drug. They make me feel really good. I get really happy and am in a good
mood after I eat them. But, then a
few hours later I get tired and little bit sad and maybe a little bored. And, because I feel this way and want
to feel happy again, I eat more Tootsie Rolls or more M&M’s or
more____________(fill in the blank).
It’s just like drugs, alcohol and tobacco. She got it. At
least I think she got it to the best of her adolescent mind ability. So, I told her she, her siblings and
her dad were all going to start eating clean just like me. I wasn’t going to have any more of those
foods in the house. I was going to
teach them all how to read food labels.
We were all going to eat healthy, wholesome, real food that nourished
our bodies and our minds.
She has been doing great. She LOVES to cook, always has. She’s been busy researching and preparing healthy, gluten
free, sugar free, dairy free meals.
For my birthday a few weeks ago she made a black raspberry, peach topped
gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free lemon curd tart for my cake. She also made GF, SF, DF crepes filled
with strawberries for breakfast that day.
This girl shocks me every single day. She’s a spectacular kid (I know I’m bias), but how many kids
actually go out of their way to prepare such a meal for their mom? I know I never did such a thing for
mine when I was her age. (Sorry,
Mom)
It’s been three weeks since our house went GF, SF, DF. There’s been some resistance, but all
in all it’s going well. Realizing
that my own daughter was becoming exactly like me was a huge catalyst, but it
wasn’t the only one. My other
daughter also has some health issues that are food related, as does my husband. The only one who doesn’t appear to have
any health related issues to food at this point in his life is my son. But, he is a bit of a
hypochondriac. He is terrified of
getting cancer and diabetes.
For the past two years or so, he’s been the one to eat the healthiest of
us all. However, will that being
said, I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with all three kids. Fortunately I was able to control it through
diet and it went away after I gave birth.
But, the risk of me developing type 2 and for them developing type 2
down the road is high. We
also have diabetes, high blood pressure, and cancers that run in our
families. So, he, too, needs to eat healthy and
stay clear away from sugars and carbs.
He’s on board with this campaign for a healthier and happier life as
well.
Now, with that being said, I can’t monitor what every one is
eating every single minute of the day.
I can provide real, whole, GF, SF, DF, low sodium food our home. I can teach them how to read food
labels, and what to order when they go out to eat. I can remind them what the healthy alternatives are when
they go to a friend’s house or a birthday party or a traveling for work. But, ultimately their food decisions,
when they aren’t in my home, are their own choices. I can only pray that what I’m teaching them sticks with them
and that they can resist the peer pressures and temptations of those foods they
know are poison to their bodies and mind.
I pray every day that they will make good choices for their bodies and minds. But, it is them alone that can only
make those decisions themselves.
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Such a scary reality when our kids follow the paths we regret most. Glad it was a positive discussion!
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